I suffer from FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out. I’m a homebody but I’m also very social, and that creates a sense of guilt, of FOMO, if I’m inside, especially if it’s a glorious day. I’m content alone in my home, but when I’m out, I want to be with someone. I blame my astrological chart for this schism in my soul.
If you feel that other people are having more fun than you, that there is something you’re not a part of, that’s FOMO.
City living can be a great resource of things to do but it can also create FOMO anxiety if you’re not motivated to get out there—or, if like me, you want someone to do things with. In New York, for example, city life can be very isolating. People don’t make the same effort to meet up with friends like they do in Paris. Exhausted by their workaday lives, they stay within their immediate circle, their families. So if all your friends are booked up, or coupled up, you end up feeling left out. Here in Paris, where they are always out socializing, it’s almost like you’re sinning if you’re not partaking. All this creates major FOMO.
If you’re an introvert, or someone who suffers from FOMO, this is your time. Huzzah! Finally, you can stay home with zero guilt. You are missing out on exactly nothing. For once, no one is out having a better time than you. There are no shows you’re not seeing. No gallery openings you should have gone to. No date nights you’re not on. In fact, the whole wide world is exactly like you: home watching Netflix on a Saturday night. Except you’re happy about it. Yippee!
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Take today for example. It’s a gorgeous Sunday in Paris. I’m sure the Parisians are gnashing their teeth that they are stuck inside. But I am not gnashing my teeth. I am enjoy a FOMO-free day at home, “squee”-ing with delight at all the things no one is doing without me. I can sit at home and write instead of feeling guilty that I’m not basking in the sun by the Seine. In fact, I can’t even go to the Seine because it’s outside my “zone.” That’s right: we’re not allowed to journey beyond a 1 kilometer- (0.6 mile-) radius of our homes. No sweat. This social underachiever, this homebody, will abide. After all, it’s the law.
We put so much pressure on ourselves to be always “doing,” brag about our packed calendars. Social media puts added pressure on us to be surrounded by friends, posting photos of our activities to show the world just how popular and busy we are. We are the “play date” generation; we had to schedule social time or be left out. That’s the sickness called FOMO. We all suffer from it in various degrees. Let this time of confinement teach us how to be comfortable being still and alone. Let the world turn without us for one day. It’s perfectly okay. In fact, it’s freaking FOMO-free fantastic.
Get caught up on my diary, here.
Tip of the day
Make a list of the top 10 things you’re missing out on during shutdown and confinement. Then put them in order of importance for your well-being (both physical and mental), with 1 being the most essential and 10 being something that just fills the time. Review the last 5 things on the list and imagine if they were banned forever. Would the absence of these activities actually make your life better? Would it ease the crush of your too-packed schedule? If yes, cross them off the list for good.
Talk about FOMO! I neglected to add a daily tip on my last two posts, which I’ve remedied. Check them out here: From day 11, tips to feel more like yourself during this time. From day 12, a breathing exercise to clear your mind and strengthen your lungs. Scroll down to view tip.
OMG, this is so true! I am almost loving the solitude and removal of FOMO!! Love this post! A
I’m not surprised!
Agreed! I am enjoying not being anywhere and I think (we are in TX) my kids love being at home too! Usually we would be at baseball games and water polo every night of the week with games on weekend. Plus rushing to any clubs/birthday parties. Tired yet?😉 it is nice to be an introvert for a bit to help out the greater good. TY for letting us know what is going on in Paris even hearing about the rules, it helps us feel like we are all in this together but also like we are on a vacation for a bit too!
Yes, a very long and strange vacation. Stay well!
Love this post. Enjoying the forced isolation.
My NYC daughter came to us in Pa. at the very start because she may be more vulnerable. She just showed me her spreadsheet of future Broadway and off broadway shows (Brooklyn) and which ones are cancelled. There were over 20! I think she gets out enough.
I can’t think of 10 things. But I can think of a couple.
I’d rather be going to class. I started studying Italian at a local community college–it’s a bucket list thing for me. I was on Jeopardy a while ago and they have you fill out an info sheet about yourself so that Alex can chat with you during the first act break. So, I said I had 3 goals in life. 1. To live long enough to be an embarrassment to my children. 2. to dive the Great Barrier Reef. 3. To learn to speak Italian. Sadly, I’ve only managed to accomplish one of these.
So, after I retired, I signed up for Italian. I’ve now taken all the Italian that’s on offer, so I’m taking Political Science and Film classes. I’m a history junkie (BA in American History, longtime member of the ACLU) and I worked in Entertainment Marketing my entire career.
With this accursed virus, the school has switched to online classes only. As much as I hate people (and I do), I miss getting out of the house and walking around the campus, interacting with the other students. I have stories about this creep in my Film class. For another time and place.
I miss going to physical therapy. I had hip replacement and was going twice a week. It’s real exercise and good therapy, not only for my body, but for my soul.
I miss playing Mah Jongg with my friends.
I miss going out to eat with my friends.
I miss going to yoga class. I miss pilates.
I miss my retirement savings.
I had a neat life, all planned out and now it’s gone. At least for now.
But, I’m cooking up a storm and the cat can’t get enough of me.
So, there’s that.
Oh I feel ya about the 401K. Ouchie. It will come back. All the things on your list are keepers. You’re lucky. But the burning question over here is, When were you on Jeopardy?
Ah, it was some time ago. April 2012.
My original goal was to win enough to redo my master bath. Alas, I came in 3rd place and won enough to buy a designer handbag. I bet big during Final Jeopardy. The only difference between 2nd and 3rd is $1000.
But I had the time of my life.
And I got on the first time I tried. Not many people do.
I love it!
love this post–am so happy to have time to myself and not worrying about FOMO
I love that you can recall opera and sing it!! Amazing. My tone deaf self can only recall – In da Club by 50 Cent!🤦♀️ I’m partying like it’s my birthday! 😉🤗
Whatever works, my friend.